Am I living in denial?

I feel so up for blogging after coming back from my college's orientation dinner. I had mixed feelings for 2 days comtemplating whether to go for converge conference or dinner. Only today I decided to go for the dinner.

For the first half an hour I felt under-dressed cos most of them were wearing dresses and skirts. It was supposedly semi-formal. That was their "semi-formal" according to my friend who was wearing a dress which I thought was more for prom.

So, to cut the long story short... this post is like a "sanity-check" kinda post (that's what my lecturer calls it). So, if you don't wanna read then skip it.

During the performances, I sang along with them, swayed, clapped, and cheered. On one hand, I was kinda happy but on the other I was like "What am I doing here? I'm supposed to sing,clap all those in church in the conference..." It's really weird come to think of it. I'm not really an outgoing person. I don't go clubbing, I don't drink at all, I don't dance also, I don't really listen to secular music (I know some but not as many as you), basically I don't do what a normal, average teenager does at this age. Gosh, I'm revealing to much of myself. Those of you who know me, will know even if I didn't tell you.

Is it wrong? Have I been living in denial all these while? Being a good girl, staying at home most of the time and not going clubbing with friends? Am I being abnormal? Or are these merely peer pressures and the deception from the devil?

I tend to think it's the latter. I think it's better that way... (lol) Talk about dancing... I can't dance even during worship to Jesus and you want me to dance in front of so many unknown people with secular music?

Anyway, it's also good to see the many antics of our lecturers tonight which we do not usually see during lectures. They made us think that lawyers are not all serious all the time.

I'm kinda worried later on as I further my studies in the UK. With all these peer pressures coming my way, will I be able to withstand them and stand firm on my own principles? The thing is I get influenced easily. I'm worried that I'll suddenly either end up a clubber every weekend or be a lonely freak who stays in the hostel most of the time studying or if not, watching movies alone.

I must stress again that this is not an emo post. It is called a "sanity-check" post. Just in case.